I've noticed a bit of a backlash against persuasiveness in some corners of the sales profession. For instance, comments like the following one can be seen in online forums and discussion boards:
"For whatever the reason, I think a lot of people associate persuasion and/or influence as some sort of devious activity."
So first, let's dispel this unfair negativity toward persuasiveness. If we read the definition of persuade, we can see there is nothing negative or unethical or devious in the definition of the word.
I think people confuse persuasion for aggression. Persuasion is a part of everyday life. Aggression had better not be. Aggression in selling is devious and, in my opinion, should be abolished in all corners of the selling world.
I asked a beautiful young woman to go out with me eighteen years ago. She turned me down. A few days later, I asked again and she turned me down again. After several months, I persuaded her to go out with me and we had a date at the Minnesota State Fair [see the story below about the state fair which has nothing to do with selling as far as I can tell].
I've been with this young woman (okay, she's not so young anymore) for eighteen years now, the last ten as her husband and the last eight as co-parent to our daughter. Persuasion works! And, although persuasion can be used for evil, it also works for non-evil endeavors!
My wife persuades me to go out to dinner at the restaurant she wants to go to instead of the one I want to go to. She doesn't do this by force (aggression); she does this by persuasion. My daughter persuades me to let one of her friends join us for lunch. I persuade a job candidate to join our company. My doctor persuades me to lose weight. I persuade my wife to quit leaving bras hanging from doorknobs all around our home (at least I've tried to persuade her to do that). It's not that I don't love bras, it's just that somehow they don't seem to enhance the decor of our home; and, I keep getting my hand tangled up in them whenever I try to open or shut a door.
Life is a dance of persuasion here and persuasion there.
And sales is, too. In the sales process, we are being constantly persuaded to adopt the prospect's point-of-view throughout the interaction, and we're persuading the prospect to adopt our point-of-view. Become a better persuader, and you'll become a better salesperson.
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As promised, the state fair story:
After spending the summer together as friends eighteen years ago, my now wife and I decided to go to the Minnesota State Fair in St. Paul. Since neither of us are big on carnival rides, I persuaded her to go on one ride with me: the double ferris wheel . As we stood in line for 45 minutes, we finally ended up near the front of the line, when suddenly we heard water balloons splatting on the hard asphalt around us.
As we looked around and at each other, we realized that these splatting sounds weren't caused by water balloons, but by someone high above us on the ferris wheel who had vomited profusely on about a dozen of us who were in line for the ride. Yes, someone had spewed chili dogs, fried green tomatoes, and cheese curds upon us. I'll never forget how beautiful my wife looked with a wisp of vomit parked just above her right eyebrow as we gazed into each others' eyes while smelling the not-lovely smell of someone else's semi-digested state fair food on our shoes, clothes, and hair.
Although everyone else in line who had been pummeled with the chunky stuff had quickly scattered in disgust, I successfully persuaded my wife to ride that ferris wheel that night, despite the fact we were drenched in vomit. After the technicians completed their task of cleaning each and every ferris wheel seat from the wayward rider's vomit, she and I cuddled up as the ride started...and wished the ride would end.
When the ride ended and we exited the ferris wheel of despair, we both instinctively ran to my car and simultaneously reached out for one-another's hands. As we sprinted to the car to look for something to wipe the smelly semi-solids from our selves, we shared our first experience holding hands, and, later that night (after each of us had taken a shower), our first kiss.
We owe it all to vomit.
Happy anniversary, Pam. Wanna go on a ride?
If you like this post (or don't) please leave a comment. Skip Anderson is the Founder and President of Selling to Consumers Sales Training. He works with companies and individuals who sell to consumers in B2C, retail, in-home selling, and the financial, real estate, and insurance markets.
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